


The List

by Ana (Anafandom)



Series: 5 + 1 Series [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Not Steve Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27524689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anafandom/pseuds/Ana
Summary: 5 times Steve’s list was mentioned and no one batted an eye and one time someone went ‘what the hell’ about it.
Series: 5 + 1 Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172006
Comments: 155
Kudos: 1181





	The List

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for prompts by greenfairy5760, Hawkwind1980, samathekittycat and TheDFO. It didn’t fit the formatting for Reckoning, so I decided to do it as a oneshot.
> 
> Also, this is my 30th MCU fic. Hooray! ;)

**1\. Steve**

Everything about the future was confusing. Steve felt like he had no idea what was going on around him, and it made him equal parts angry and scared. He hated being scared. He was Captain America, hero of World War II and a super soldier; he shouldn’t have any reason to be scared.

At first, Steve had ignored the discomfort and had gone out anyway, pretending he wasn’t lost. He had a lot of practice carrying on in the face of adversity and beating the odds. His stubbornness would get him through as it always did, and eventually things would be all right. All he had to do was grit his teeth, keep his head high and remind everyone (including himself) who he was.

Still, it was annoying to constantly be out of the loop. Sometimes it was like people were speaking a different language entirely, with all the references he didn’t understand. It almost felt like the guys at SHIELD were doing it on purpose just to make him feel bad. More than once Steve had used his height and general physique to get a few bullies to back down.

Outside of SHIELD, it was even worse. No one knew who he was, and occasionally he was treated like an idiot for not knowing something. He wanted to scream and rage at the unfairness of it all. He had given his life for his country – and the whole world – and had gotten nothing for it. Peggy was old and sick, all his friends were either dead or too old to remember him, Bucky was gone and he was all alone.

Then the invasion happened and Steve felt like he was back on solid ground for the first time since waking up. He had something to do, an enemy to fight. He felt strong and useful again, even though goddam Stark had kinda stolen the spotlight at the end. Show off. The man had rubbed Steve wrong from the very first, and it had only gotten worse. Steve was glad when they all went their separate ways. At least he’d sort of made a friend in Natasha.

She was the one who gave him the idea for the list.

They were drinking coffee at SHIELD’s headquarters a couple of days after Thor had gone back to Asgard, watching the news. Apparently some people didn’t believe that the invasion had been real.

Natasha rolled her eyes at the whole thing.

“It’s like the moon landing all over again,” she said. “It doesn’t matter that we have photos and video and everything, some people are just too dumb. It’s easier to believe that it’s all a vast conspiracy than to admit they don’t know everything about the world – or the universe.”

“Moon landing?” Steve asked. Had the aliens landed on the moon before?

Natasha looked at him with a pitying expression. “It’s a thing that happened. You should look it up.”

Steve clenched his jaw. “I haven’t had time to do much,” he replied, hating how defensive he sounded. “SHIELD has kept me busy.” It wasn’t quite true, but Steve didn’t think Natasha would know that as she had been away on assignment when he’d come out of the ice.

“Well, I think you’re about to have some time on your hands. Fury wants us to lay low for a while until the worst of the panic dies down.”

“Right.” Time was not something Steve was looking forward to. He would much have preferred to keep busy, to keep fighting. At least that was familiar.

“There’s always TV,” she said. “I hear _I Love Lucy_ is back in syndication.” At his confused look, she went on. “It’s a TV show. A comedy. You’ll like it.”

“Maybe I should have a list,” he muttered, only half joking.

“That is probably a good idea.” She put her empty cup down and started to walk away. “Later.”

When Steve got back to his quarters, he found a small notebook and wrote it down.

_I Love Lucy (Television)_

_Moon Landing_

He might as well keep a tally of things he needed to catch up on.

Over time, other things got added, things people mentioned that seemed important for him to know so he wouldn’t seem completely ignorant.

_Berlin Wall (Up + Down)_

_Steve Jobs (Apple)_

_Disco_

_Thai Food_

_Star Wars/Trek_

_Nirvana (band)_

_Rocky (Rocky II?)_

And then Hydra resurfaced, and Steve didn’t have time for it anymore.

**2\. Sam**

After the mess with Hydra, Sam became a sort of reserve Avenger. He felt very proud that he was able to help his childhood hero, Captain America, to save the world from a terrorist organization.

Since his retirement, he had been drifting, unsure what to do with himself. The counselor job at the VA was supposed to help, to give him some sense of purpose, but it hadn’t worked out quite like that. Most days it didn’t seem like he was making a difference at all. The problems the vets faced went far beyond what he could deal with in weekly sessions. There were financial issues and family issues that Sam was powerless to help with. It made his blood boil that people who had given their all for their country were pretty much screwed over by the government. It was one of the reasons why Sam hated politics and politicians.

Being around Steve was exactly what he’d needed, he realized. There was a guy who still believed in the good in people, a guy who did the right thing even though it was hard, a guy who cared about others and wasn’t just out for number one. It gave Sam hope.

It also made him feel special that Steve confided in him, trusted _him_. How cool was that? He was Captain America’s _friend_.

So when Sam saw ‘the list’, he didn’t think too much of it.

They had been out for a jog, Steve running three laps for each one of Sam’s. Despite the fact that Sam was in pretty decent shape, keeping up with a super soldier was still not easy, so he needed a break after a while. He sat by the shade of a tree and took his phone out to check his messages. Steve joined him once he was finished, not even out of breath.

“Tired already?” Steve asked teasingly.

Sam snorted. “We can’t all be super, you know.”

Steve grinned and sat next to him. He got a small notebook from his pocket and studied it. “So what’s so special about Nirvana?” he asked.

“Hmm?”

“Nirvana. It’s a band.”

“I know what it is. Why do you ask?”

Steve shrugged. “I’ve been told it’s something I need to catch up on. It’s on my list.”

“Who told you that? I don’t think they’re your style at all,” Sam replied. He really couldn’t picture Steve as the grunge, rock’n’roll head-banger type. There were plenty of other bands Steve might be more interested in.

“Guess I can cross it out, then,” Steve said. “What about disco?”

Sam couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. If Steve wasn’t a rock’n’roll guy, he’d be even less of a disco guy. The mental picture of Steve in bell-bottomed jeans dancing Travolta-style was hilarious. Who the hell had given him these ideas? Of all pop culture things for him to get to know, Sam wouldn’t have rated those two at even the top hundred.

He felt a little bad for laughing when he saw Steve’s face, though. “Hey, man, I meant no offense. I’ll help you get caught up, though, don’t worry.”

So Sam occasionally brought over some music he thought Steve would like, and explained a few references here and there when Steve looked lost. Every now and then he’d see Steve adding something to the list, and he’d ask how it was going. There was certainly a lot of things to go through. He never really considered what was on the list, or how much Steve was doing to actually learn about it. Mostly it just seemed like his friend wanted to be aware of what those pop culture references were about, not necessarily do a deep dive into any of it. Nothing to worry about.

**3\. Natasha**

Trying to find the Winter Soldier was not an easy task, Natasha had discovered. Whether Barnes himself was keeping his head down or someone had already caught up to him, there was no trace of him anywhere. If they still had SHIELD’s resources, it might have been easier, but that was no longer possible. SHIELD was gone. Nat tried not to think too much about it. There was no use crying over spilt milk after all, as the saying went. What was done was done, and the Avengers would just have to find a way to move on.

It would be easier if Steve were more focused on that, but she knew he wouldn’t be 100% with them until his friend had been found.

“Any new leads?” he asked her, coming into her room as if her thoughts had summoned him.

“No, not yet.”

He looked like a kicked puppy at that piece of news, and Nat couldn’t help rolling her eyes a little. She liked Steve, she really did, but sometimes he was rather annoying. It wasn’t like she could just snap her fingers and get things done, yet he seemed to expect it of her.

“I just hate to think of Bucky out there all alone, lost and confused after everything those bastards did to him.”

“I know, Steve.”

In truth, Natasha had some mixed feelings about Barnes. Sure, he was a victim of Hydra. On the other hand, he was dangerous and Nat had no idea whether there was anything left of Steve’s friend in there. Maybe they were chasing a ghost instead of focusing on more important things. It wouldn’t do to say that, however. Steve was far too stubborn to even consider admitting defeat. It was admirable, really. As long as it didn’t bite them in the ass someday, she thought.

“Maybe we can go back to that one you got earlier, the one we didn’t follow through,” he said with slight disapproval. He wanted to go tearing off for every little hint of the Winter Soldier, and it just wasn’t practical. Sometimes, talking to Steve was like talking to a child.

Natasha sighed. “Now is really not the best time for us to be traipsing around in Russia, Steve. We need to wait for things to call down a little bit more.” The international community was still up in arms about the Info Dump. It would die down eventually, of course – these things always did – but until then they needed to keep their heads down. Hadn’t they already been through this at the end of the invasion?

“But why?”

“What do you mean, why?”

“Why can’t we go to Russia?”

Natasha turned to look at him. “Because the relationship between the US and Russia has been a mess for 50 years, Steve. The Communist threat?” He clearly had no idea what she was talking about. Nat shook her head. “You really need to get caught up with things, Steve, or you’re going to end up really putting your foot in it at an inopportune moment.”

He grumbled something about putting it on the list and wandered off. Natasha thought that perhaps she should pay a bit more attention to how his education into the future was going, but really, she already had a lot to do. He was a grown man, for god’s sake. He should be able to sort it out without needing her to hold his hand every moment.

Not long after that, they had to deal with Ultron and the mess that came after it, and the matter of Steve’s list completely slipped her mind.

**4\. Clint**

Retirement was not all it was cracked up to be, Clint had found. He was bored out of his mind. Sure, it was good to be around Laura and the kids more, but… well, there wasn’t much to _do_. There was only so much farm maintenance he could do before the restlessness set it. And while he might be able to throw a coat of paint on the walls and do some light carpentry, there were things that were simply beyond his skills. The truth was that, aside from being a marksman and a fighter, there wasn’t much more he was particularly good at it. He had tried to fix the old heater and ended up destroying it in a fit of frustration when he couldn’t figure out how to put it back together again. Tony made that sort of thing look easy, but it really wasn’t – not for the average high-school dropout like Clint. Laura had been quite pissed about it, and had banned him from trying to ‘fix’ any more of their equipment.

So that had reduced his list of things to do. And with the kids in school most of the day, he couldn’t even hang out with them. There was baby Nate, of course, but watching a baby sleep wasn’t exactly prime entertainment. He didn’t remember the others being quite so… boring, but that was probably because he hadn’t been around much after they’d been born.

One day, when he felt like he was about to climb the walls, he called the Compound in desperation. Maybe there was something Avenger-related he could do.

It was Steve who answered the phone, though Clint would have preferred to speak to Nat. He could have called her cell directly, but he didn’t want to seem as desperate as he actually was.

“Hey Steve. How’re you doing, man?” he said, as if they were close friends who hadn’t talked for a while. It was true that they hadn’t talked for a while, though Clint wasn’t sure he could really consider Steve a friend. A co-worker, sure, but friend was a bit… too much. Still, it was all Clint had at the moment.

“I’m good, what about you? How’s the baby?”

“Too young to do anything but sleep and eat,” Clint replied honestly, which made Steve laugh.

“Bored?” Steve asked, rather more perceptive than Clint would have liked.

“A bit,” he admitted. “I mean, there’s only so many times you can watch _The Lion King_ , _Mulan_ and _The Little Mermaid_ before wanting to shoot someone.”

There was silence on the line for long enough that Clint thought the line had disconnected.

“Steve?”

“Sorry, I… I don’t know what those are.”

Clint’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead. Seriously? Steve didn’t know fucking Disney cartoons? What the hell had he been doing all these years?

“They’re kid’s movies. Animated movies. You know, from Disney. You know Disney, right?”

“Of course.” Steve sounded indignant and a little embarrassed, so Clint moved on.

“Anyway, Lila is on a Disney bender and that means we’re all on a Disney bender. I’m sick to death of those annoying little songs. Not to mention _Frozen_. If I hear _Let It Go_ one more time I’m going to end up doing something I’ll regret.”

Steve chuckled. “I know that one.” Well, of course. It had come out after Steve had been thawed out. There was no way he could have missed the _Frozen_ fever. “What were the other ones again?”

So Clint fired off a list of Disney animated movies the kids had forced him to sit through as Steve mumbled something about a list. He did think it was a bit odd that even after three years Steve hadn’t heard about them, but whatever. It wasn’t his problem. Steve was a big boy, he probably knew what he was doing. The conversation staved off the boredom for a while, and that was the important thing.

**5\. Wanda**

The Compound was nice, Wanda had to admit. The room she’d been given was bigger than any place she’d ever stayed it – which made her angry. While she and Pietro had been scrapping by on charity and hand-me-downs, Tony Stark had been living in the lap of luxury thanks to his blood money. It made her feel a little guilty to enjoy it now, but she figured she deserved it after losing her only remaining family. If she couldn’t have her revenge and kill Stark, she might as well make him pay for all the things she’d never gotten because of him. It wasn’t as if she any anywhere else to go, anyway.

She was still trying to get used to Pietro being gone – and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to really do it. She didn’t want to forget her brother, of course, but she didn’t want to waste away in grief. Pietro wouldn’t have wanted that. It was hard, though. Every time she saw something new – something they hadn’t had in Sokovia – she turned automatically to talk to him about it only to find he wasn’t there. He would never be there again, and it hurt.

She had tried very hard to blame Stark for Pietro’s death, yet she knew, deep down, that it had been her own doing. She hadn’t told any of the others about messing with Stark’s mind, because she didn’t want to lose the only thing she had left. However, the fact remained that she had _wanted_ him to create something destructive. It just hadn’t occurred to her that Pietro would end up being collateral damage from that creation.

There was nothing she could do about it now, though. She had to find a way to move on, no matter how hard it was. She’d faced loss before and had come out stronger on the other side, she could do it again. There was no alternative.

Still, she felt lost a lot of the time. She just didn’t have anything to _do_ on a daily basis. There was training, and that was pretty much it. Wanda had never really thought about what she was going to do with her life once her revenge was done. And now that she’d given up on revenge, she was at loose ends. And she didn’t even have her brother to support her.

Sometimes it seemed like she was the only one who was lost. Sam and Natasha always seemed so confident, like they had a purpose in their lives – like they knew exactly what they had to do. Vision was… well, Wanda didn’t really know. She had been drawn to him from the start, probably because of the Stone in his head. That was the thing that had given her powers, and she felt connected to it in a way that she couldn’t describe. But Vision was… difficult to understand. There were times he seemed as lost as she was, and she felt a kinship with him. Other times he was so alien that Wanda had no idea what to even say to him. And it didn’t help that he was always going over to visit Stark. While Wanda now knew, intellectually, that her parents’ death hadn’t really been his doing, she still didn’t like him – and she resented him for all he had that she didn’t.

Steve… Steve was the one Wanda was closest to. He was kind and patient and made her feel safe. She hadn’t had that a lot in her life, and she appreciated it. Plus he had been the one to give her a chance, so she felt indebted to him. Steve was nice, and sometimes he looked like he didn’t know what to do with his life either.

The two of them spent a lot of time together watching television. Wanda knew that Steve had been frozen for a long time, and he was still trying to catch up to everything he had lost. Wanda could sympathize. There were a lot of American things she didn’t understand. She had learned to speak English from Hydra, but this was her first time in the actual country, and a lot of what they did was confusing to her.

They were watching one of those ubiquitous cop chows – Americans sure loved their cop shows, didn’t they? – and one of the suspects worked for Doctors Without Borders. Wanda tensed and looked away from the TV screen.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked, noticing her reaction.

“It’s just… bad memories.”

When he still looked puzzled, Wanda continued. “There were some people from Doctors Without Borders in Sokovia when my parents were killed. During the Civil War. They tried to help, but… it was never enough.” Wanda pushed the memories away. She was so tired of death and destruction.

“Ah,” Steve said, though he clearly had no idea what she was talking about.

“You don’t know what Doctors Without Borders is?”

He shook his head. He reached into his pocket and took out a small notebook. “Something else for the list, I guess,” he said.

Wanda thought about telling him what she knew, but it wasn’t really that much. He would probably learn more if he read something more official. And she certainly didn’t want to say something wrong and come off even more ignorant than she already was. She gave him a tight smile and pushed the thought of those days out of her head.

**+1. Tony**

Tony had a headache. Of course he did. And it had the Avengers’ name on it. He had no idea what Steve and the others had been thinking, but it clearly wasn’t the big picture. Not that he was surprised by that, exactly, but… god, he was so tired of this. And somehow he knew this was going to end up being blamed on him because… well, wasn’t that always the way? He was glad for Rhodey’s level head here, because he wasn’t sure how much more of this shit he was going to be able to take.

When the others finally deigned to remember he was actually in the room, Tony got up. He rolled his eyes internally at the state of the kitchen – and couldn’t help a comment – and pulled up the picture of Charles Spencer. One more death on his conscience. And only his, apparently, because no one else seemed the least bit bothered by the trail of broken lives left in their wake.

“Tony, someone dies on your watch, you don’t give up,” Steve said, in that earnest voice of his that Tony found utterly grating.

“Who said we’re giving up?”

“We are if we’re not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blames.”

Tony stared, unsure what to make of that… nonsense. Taking responsibility for their actions was _exactly_ what Tony was trying to do – and exactly what Steve seemed intent on _not_ doing. Shifting the blame indeed.

Fortunately, his Platypus was there to be the voice of reason. “I’m sorry. Steve. That – that is dangerously arrogant. This is the _United Nations_ we're talking about. It’s not the World Security Council, it’s not SHIELD, it’s not Hydra.”

Steve frowned a bit, then spoke. “No, but it’s run by people with agendas, and agendas change.”

Tony rolled his eyes and went back to the table. He was about to speak when he noticed Steve taking a small notebook out of his pocket and writing something down on it.

“What’s that?” Tony asked.

“Nothing,” Steve said, sounding defensive.

Well, that couldn’t be good. “We’re having a serious discussion here and you’re passing notes like a kid in class?”

“I’m not passing notes. I’m just… making a note of something.”

“What?” When Steve didn’t say anything, Tony came closer. “Come on, people.” He made sure to look at everyone as he circled the table. “It’s time for cards on the table here. Anyone got a problem, now is the time to speak up.” Quick as lightening, Tony snatched the little book from Steve’s hands and inspected it.

“Give that back, Tony!” Steve shouted with righteous indignation. Normally, Tony wouldn’t stoop to this kind of behavior, but he was at the end of his rope here, and trying to get these idiots to _listen_ was bad enough without Steve doing… whatever.

“What the hell is this?” Tony asked, once he registered what the words written down were about.

“That’s none of your business.”

“This is your list of stuff to catch up on, right?” Tony asked, still staring at it in disbelief.

“Hey, man, lay off,” Sam Wilson said. “So he has a list, who cares?”

“Do you know what’s actually _on_ this list?”

Sam shrugged. “Pop culture stuff.”

“Yeah, some of it is pop culture. Then we have stuff like _Doctors Without Borders_ , _Berlin Wall (Up + Down)_ , _Moon landing_ , _Vietnam War_ , _Communist threat_ , and the fucking _United Nations_. Those aren’t pop culture stuff. Those are major socio-historical-political events that have shaped today’s world. If Steve here doesn’t know what the UN is, how the hell can he have an actual _qualified_ opinion on the Accords?” Tony asked, staring at both Steve and Sam.

“You don’t know what the UN is?” It was Rhodey who spoke, a frown on his face. “Why didn’t you just say something?”

Now Steve squirmed in his seat. Even Natasha was giving him a strange look now. “I… I didn’t think it was important.”

“You didn’t think it was important to mention that you know nothing about the very organization we are currently talking about?” The disbelief in Rhodey’s voice was music to Tony’s ears. For once it wasn’t him calling Steve out on his bullshit. “Look, it’s understandable that you don’t know. There’s a lot of stuff to catch up on, but…” Rhodey shook his head. “This time not knowing _matters_.”

“Yep,” Tony added. “You can’t sit there spewing shit about government and agendas when you have no idea what the fuck we’re talking about. And by the way, the UN is _not_ a government. Do they have agendas? Sure, everyone does. For example, _my_ agenda here today is to make you people understand that the Avengers cannot be a group of super powered individuals that invade foreign nations and do whatever they feel like it. The UN’s agenda is to protect the citizens of the world from crazy vigilantes _and_ the Avengers from unjust persecution when they act within established guidelines.”

There was a heavy silence after that. Sam and Natasha looked a bit uncomfortable.

“Okay, I think we should take a break so we can make sure everyone is on the same page here.” Rhodey looked at Steve. “And that everyone knows what we’re talking about.” He turned back to Sam and Wanda. “Are the two of you familiar with the UN and international politics?”

Wanda looked sulky. “Why are you only asking us?”

“Because I already know that Tony, Vision and Natasha know this.” Rhodey replied, with rather more patience than Tony would have been capable of in his place. Thank god for Rhodey, he thought, not for the first time.

“I know what the UN is,” Sam said, then looked away. “But I guess it would be… useful… to dig a little deeper into it.”

“Good. We’ll start there, I guess.” He looked at Tony. “I know you’ve got stuff to do, so if you’d rather get to that, I’ll call you when we need you again.” Tony nodded and tried not to look too relieved to get out of this room. “Natasha, can you stay? I think you can help.”

“Sure.” She was looking at Steve with slightly narrowed eyes, though. Perhaps the rose-colored glasses were beginning to come off, Tony thought.

Before he left, though, Tony couldn’t help look back at Steve. “You might want to start getting some help in getting through your _list_ ,” he emphasized the word with some contempt and tossed the notebook back at him. “And you might want to start separating pop culture from important stuff someone in your position really should know. Ignorance can be forgiven, but only up to a point, and only if it’s genuine, and not due to laziness. You’ve had plenty of time to learn these things. I myself offered to help you on a number of occasions, and you brushed it off saying you had it covered. Considering that most of your list isn’t crossed off – and the things that _are_ crossed off are pointless stuff like _I Love Lucy_ , _Star Wars_ , _Nirvana_ and _Disney cartoons_ – you have obviously not been as diligent as you should have. So you can either get yourself a decent education or I will personally recommend that you be suspended from the Avengers until you have a real grasp on the modern world. Because as it is, your lack of knowledge is a danger to _everyone_.”

Steve wanted to protest, Tony could see it in every line of his rigid posture, but he knew he had already lost this argument.

“And you,” Tony turned to Sam, Nat and Wanda, “you spend all this time with Steve and you had no idea how behind he was? Wake up, people.”

Sam and Nat looked down. “Yeah, man, we can help you,” Sam told Steve, trying for an encouraging smile, though there was also guilt lurking in his eyes. Had he actually known how little Steve had been doing about this?

Still, while it was kind of him to offer, Tony wasn’t sure Sam was the best person for it. International politics was not the average person’s area of expertise, after all, and something told him Sam had his own biases and short-comings to overcome.

“I… Maybe I can get some help too?” Wanda timidly asked. “I never had much of a chance to…” She trailed off. Right, Tony figured Hydra wasn’t very keen on educating their minions.

“Of course,” Vision said, smiling at her. “We can arrange classes for everyone, can’t we?” He looked at Tony and Rhodey.

“Sure,” Rhodey replied.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. I’ll get someone on it. For now, you guys will have to settle for a crash course.”

As he got to his car, he decided that the hands off approach to the Avengers wasn’t really working, and these Accords were obviously the best thing that could have happened to them. Perhaps they could still salvage this mess.

One thing was clear, though. Steve could _not_ be allowed to lead the team anymore.


End file.
